By: Regina Stone-Grover
Love may be blind, but not as blind as infatuation. When watching the Netflix original show “Love Is Blind,” we see a few characters that have a strong relationship with infatuation. If you have not seen the show yet, there are some spoilers and behind the scenes moments ahead, so if you don’t want to know, stop reading now.
So, if you have watched or are curious, in the show, “Love Is Blind,” we watched a large group of men (15) and a large group of women(15) be placed in tiny rooms, with a wall between them so that they couldn’t see each other, and were given the opportunity to date for the course of about ten days. Within those ten days, if they hit it off, and grow to love each other they got engaged, all without seeing each other. Once they were engaged, they were able to meet and see each other face to face, and become acquainted with how each other looks.
Hence, the title “Love is Blind”. Once they were able to meet each other, and the 10 day process ended, the couples then took a vacation to Mexico.
(Spoiler Alert!) As we went along, we followed the couples who went from six engaged couples to five, and the show ended with the five engaged couples becoming two married couples.
We actually watched all six couples go to Mexico, but within the first few days we saw our sixth couple, Diamond and Carlton, go through a very tumultuous experience.
Diamond really stood out. Her story has struck much curiosity, and quite a few people have found it fun to follow and keep up with Diamond’s experience during and after the show. Especially because of how we all experienced her journey.
Starting in the pods where everybody’s journey begins. We meet Diamond, outspoken, clear headed, and excited to find men open to the depths of her spirit. She is a woman who understands the value of her presence, recognizes what she brings to the table, and in her search for love she has opened to what the experiment has to bring.
(Spoiler Alert!) We see somewhat early in her connection with her partner, who is Carlton, that she is playful,and she speaks her mind, but accepts that from him as well. We see them encounter each other in a fascinating way in the pods, and his proposal, which like most, is full of tears and words of hope, also opens up an array of vulnerability in which Carlton speaks about “feeling accepted,” except, he doesn’t tell Diamond that he’s bisexual.
They meet and encounter each other for the first time, in which we see that Diamond has a more transparent guard and she is not as physically open to Carlton, showcased by when she leans away from him in an embrace, but she is still open to moving through the experiment with him. They’re learning each other.
Carlton we learn is chic and well groomed, he’s also a preacher’s kid. One of the first ways that he introduced himself to us (the audience) is wanting to be like Hugh Hefner and have his “pick of the litter,” when he was younger. Carlton, a grown man, at times appears to be quite childlike, when he discusses his need for acceptance, and in the pods he comes off more playful, but also defensive, quite adolescent like. He comes off as gentle and open, and excited when it comes to Diamond.
So much going on. Of course, Diamond and Carlton have one of the most memorable experiences in Mexico because they had to confront the fact that Carlton waited, the entire time to tell Diamond that he was a bisexual. To add insult to injury, he also freaked out and lost his composure on Diamond regarding how she reacted to his disclosure. Her reaction at first was to comfort him, and then he started acting irrationally, doing things like throwing his hat, and punching his hand. His passion is understood, but his physical presence seemed to create a triggered reaction from Diamond, which resulted in her telling him that she needed to leave, and he told her to “go.” The couple spent the first night apart, both of them crying and appearing to mourn their first night together as an engaged couple.
The next day, when Diamond did come to talk to him, and just kind of say, “let’s talk about this” he starts off by saying “I wanted you to love me for me.”
In this case, this is after he told her that he didn’t tell her because he had women use it against him in the past, but at the pool, he says it’s never been an issue for girls. We hear in the discussion, Diamond tells Carlton that she feels like he “gamed” the experiment. He then continues to gaslight her, he justifies not giving her the choice to walk away. At this point, we as the audience don’t see how disturbing this situation is or has been, but we’re seeing enough.
Things get really bad, and Carlton makes a denigrating statement in reference to Diamond, and she becomes escalated and we see her make a denigrating statement toward Carlton. This ultimately ends their relationship, and we see the pair leaving Mexico separately.
Now we all know that the sexuality conversation is a very sensitive conversation so I’m all about #teamsupport when it comes to sexuality.
- Carlton was Supported. Not only did Diamond respond with questions, but she also was emotionally available, until she felt threatened.
I definitely support being safe in regard to identity and making sure that the space is ripe for growth.
- We saw all of this from Diamond. We saw Diamond make room for Carlton’s feelings and vulnerability, and we saw Diamond continue to go back to Carlton.
Where I can not get on board, is not trusting someone and then giving the impression that you do trust them, by asking them to marry you. Or worse, knowing someone is worthy of trust, but not giving them the freedom to choose not to continue with you. Which is not mature enough to enter into any relationship, let alone, marriage. It’s understandable that the situation was complicated, but his choice to trigger reactions from her, and then react to them, created much more turmoil for their situation than there should have been. This was difficult to watch, and I’m sure to live with.
Which ultimately ended it.
In the recent weeks, if anyone has kept up since the reunion, Carlton has been publicly vocal about wanting to pursue a relationship with Diamond, and asking her for forgiveness. He has mentioned attending counseling and recognizes that he didn’t react the best in that space. Diamond has forgiven him, but would like to move on with her life. As she should.
In a recent interaction with fans over social media, Diamond was doing a Q&A. In this Q&A, the fans inquired as to who she would be with if she wasn’t with Carlton.
Diamond responded that she was excited about Carlton, Mark, and Cameron earlier on in the experiment.
Fans follow up with, how did Cameron tell you “no” for Lauren?
To which Diamond responded, that at some point during the dating process, Carlton and Cameron had a dispute that led to Cameron not dating her any more. Diamond did state that she didn’t know what was said in that conversation, but Cameron left her alone. (catch the tea with the link below).
So, in all honesty, Carlton stepped in-between Diamond connecting with other men, and repeatedly diminished Diamond, while stating that he was vulnerable, and he continued for a period to ignore Diamond’s boundaries, sounds pretty gamey to me.
Ntm, that through it all, Diamond has remained respectful of Carlton publicly.
I hope she finds her Love connection and the peace within the love that she desires, but Carlton has much more going on than the issues around his sexuality, and I am glad that he has gotten help, but no woman should feel pressured to deal with any of that. Good Luck Diamond!
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